Confused on Sync, Explanations Needed

Hi. On iTunes you have the option to prevent iPhones, iPad from syncing automatically (in the preferences), then you have that in the App tab when you click your iOS device on the left, in there you can click or unclick automatically sync apps which is clicked by default (wouldn't this contradict with the preference settings that you don't want it to sync automatically?) If you click in the preferences for the iPhone and iPad not to sync automatically shouldn't it unclick the one on the App tabs sync apps automatically?
Then there's apply revert button, if you apply it syncs (with the syncing in progress written on the iPhone) and then just the sync button appears but if you move from your iOS device to say the iTunes Store, it'll tell you that you have changed the settings on your iOS device which I don't believe I have because everything was being click on the iTunes. You then click ok then it syncs again (it just did before that when you click the Apply button the one at the bottom of Revert). I think sync still needs that much needed overhaul.
What settings should I click or unclick if I want to download app using the iTunes App Store, after it's downloaded I go to the iOS device in this case an iPhone 3G and the newly downloaded apps should be unchecked at the App tab section. I pick some of the newly downloaded apps check it and then I sync it. If possible I don't want the Revert and Apply buttons to appear, just the sync button to make the UI simpler. Then if I downloaded it using the iOS device like the iPhone could it just remind me that I have new apps and I may opt to back it up to the Mac using iTunes? I then pick which apps from the iPhone (it could also be other things like new contact numbers) I want iTunes to back up (coz' suppoing I'm out of time and some apps are big, I could just back up the smaller apps).
Thank you in  advance.
Gbu.

May be easier to put your iTunes on an external HD and carry that back & forth.

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