Connect to iTunes, again....

Question

I'm really getting tired of this. I thought with iOS5 the emphasis on the iphone becoming more stand-alone was on, well, actually becoming more stand-alone!
I live in both Thailand and Australia. We came back to Australia recently and changed both of our phones under warranty. No problems there. We both have apple store purchased, unlocked phones. They are iPhone 4's, not 4S. Prior to changing the phones both worked in Thailand on various Thai carriers (true, 123, dtac), and both worked in Australia on vodafone and Helstra. 
When they were changed under warranty the replacement phones were only iOS4.x.x. In store, I put my sim in and I get the "connect this phone to iTunes" message. I got him to activate it. My wife needed a new sim which he couldn't help us with, so we put my sim in her phone and activated it as well.
We then went to a vodafone reseller and got a new microsim for her. Put it in her phone and straight away we get the "connect this phone to iTunes" message again. We went back to the Apple store and although he just re-activated it, the point was lost. I don't want to have to do this for every sim we put in the phone. My wife and I both use vodafone, what's the difference between her sim and mine? The phone's firmware is unlocked, so there should be no authentication required...
Moving along to the REAL problem.
I then came home I upped them to 5.0.x. Then I restored the phones using the backup I created the night before.
Now my wife had a need to go back to Thailand on short notice. She has not taken any computer with her, just her iPhone, her Australian and Thailand sims. She landed in Phuket and before her connecting flight to her hometown she put in the Thailand sim. She gets the message she must connect to itunes to go forward. I'm sorry, but this is utter BS. She is now home for a couple of weeks with a phone she cannot use. She is in a town that doesn't have great internet, and she doesn't have ready access to a computer to connect to iTunes to re-activate the phone.
I am guessing that every time I go to a NEW country (or even carrier within the same country), I have to do the following:
I have to buy a new sim for the phone,
I have to take my laptop,
I have to get my laptop connected to the internet (and tethering is now out of the question since the phone is kaput),
hope the internet connection I am using has all required ports open for iTunes validation,
plug my phone into the laptop and allow it to re-activate.
I'll say it again, this is total and utter BS. It's MY phone, I bought it unlocked for a reason, and Apple are locking us out of it. ***?
Now she has to make a special trip to a major town to go to an Apple reseller to get her phone reactivated. Or I suppose, she can ask someone in her town to download the iTunes virus onto one of their windows boxes and reactivate through that internet connection.
Is there NO OTHER WAY???
I'm sorry for venting here, but I have been stung in nearly every country I have been because of Apple. Being locked out of my phone for days at a time. Why isn't the authentication information stored in the iPhone backup? Does this mean it's going to happen when I revisit everywhere I've been? This is beyond frustrating.
I ask again, politely; is there any other way? (please do't say buy a new non-Apple phone <G>)

Answer 1

I have just spent the last hour on the phone to Apple Care. Admittedly, they are working hard to fix the problem, and it turns out the nong who replaced our phones has recorded wrong serial numbers for the phones. As a result, the iphones we have don't match the iphones apple think we have.
Hence when I upgraded them to iOS5, they were upgraded against what IS in their database, 2x iphone 4's locked to the Optus network. So our phones are locked.
The irony of this problem, we are currently using Vodafone sims in both phones! Vodafone is not an Optus reseller.
Now our problem is escallated to the activations team who have to record the correct serial numbers for the phones. This is probably going to involve a trip to an Apple store for them to verify. Once the database correctly reflects the phones we physically have, we can download the unlocked firmware and restore them once again.