Contact disappeared from iPhone but not deleted from Address Book on sync

FYI, I have an iPhone 3G running iOS 4.2 (the latest), and I have never so much as thought about MobileMe.
Until two days ago, I have had no reason to doubt that my iPhone's Contact list is the same as my MacBook's Address Book list. I now have no confidence that the same info. exists in both: I know for sure that at least one contact long present in both has disappeared from the iPhone, yet syncing all contacts neither returns it to the iPhone nor deletes it from Address Book! I need help troubleshooting this contact as well as verifying that there aren't other similar anomalies corrupting my data, hopefully without manually comparing all 685 entries...
Two days ago, a certain number, let's call it (310) 555-5555, popped up in my recents list as a missed call and in my visual voicemail. When I listened to the voicemail, I discovered that (310) 555-5555 was Jane Smith. I remembered entering Jane Smith several months ago, so I thought hmmm, does she have a second number? I tried to add (310) 555-5555 to an existing entry, only to find my iPhone had no entry for Jane Smith anymore at all! I did not delete her myself, and I'm not aware of any 3rd-party app that ought to have affected the entry. I haven't called Jane Smith or (310) 555-5555 in quite some time, so I have no idea how long the entry may have been missing. I searched the whole phone (left of the first home screen)
At the next opportunity, I looked in Address Book on my laptop, and indeed found the expected entry for Jane Smith, (310) 555-5555. I have no idea how she disappeared from my iPhone -- did I or some third-party program delete her? Or did it happen through some sync issue? -- but I naturally worried that when I next synced, the deletion would sync, too, and I would lose the Address Book entry, leaving me without Jane Smith's number at all.
Such an event would defeat the entire purpose of backing up my phone contacts to my computer; I just moved to iPhone this spring after being a Palm user since 1997, and the idea that iPhone might not be reliably syncing my contacts is frankly terrifying. I checked and saw that my Address Book listed 685 contacts to iPhone Contacts's 684, so I decided to risk a sync in hopes that maybe I had caused a one-off deletion. I wrote down Jane Smith (310) 555-5555 just in case and hit sync.
The results of the sync and my subsequent troubleshooting have seriously undermined my confidence in the fidelity of the sync process. The first time, nothing changed--I still had 684 iPhone, no Jane Smith, and 685 Address Book, including Jane Smith.
Thanks in advance for any assistance.
Message was edited by: Lindsey Worth

Before conecting your phone, open iTunes on your computer and go to Preferences, on the Devices tab check "Prevent...from syncing automatically". Now connect your phone and when it appears in iTunes on the left sidebar click on its name. Go to the Info tab and confirm than your have checked Sync Contacts with Address Book. Now further down on the Info tab under Advanced>Replace information on this iPhone check Contacts. Click Apply and sync your phone. This will replace the contacts on your phone with the contacts in Address Book. (When complete you can go back to iTunes preferences and uncheck "Prevent..." to re-establish automatic syncing if your prefer this.)

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Contact disappeared from iPhone but not deleted from Address Book on sync

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