Dashed line around iCal appointment

I have seen this posted in several areas but no solution to be found as of yet.  SOMETIMES when I create an appointment in iCal, I get a clear background with a white dotted line around the appointment.
Each time I create an appointment, I invite my wife.  I always get a yellow exclamation point before her name (or any name/email I use for invite).  SOME appointments have a man with a question mark in the upper right hand corner (these are the ones that have the clear background and dashed line)...
When I create an appointment, invite my wife, one of three things happen:
1)  the appointment is created in the appropriate calendar, invitation is sent and I am done.  I do not need to wait for her to accept the appointent.
2)  the appointment is created, clear background, dashed lines, little man with question mark in upper right hand corner, invitation sent.  When she accepts, the color for the calendar fills the appointment and the dashed line is removed.
3)  the appointment is created, clear background, dashed lines, little man with question mark in upper right hand corner, invitation IS NOT sent.
HELP!  This is frustrating...

Greetings,
The events where the dotted outline and the little man appear, are they part of a calendar in the "ON MY MAC" section of the iCal sidebar on the left hand side or a different section?

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