Delete and reinstall itunes?

I have spent 4 x 12 hour days trying to get iTunes 11.1 to sync properly from my macbook pro to my iPhone. It just keeps generating duplicate files all over the place every time I sync.
I have multiple .itl files, multiple .xml files. iTunes is a complete mess
What is the best thing to do? Delete iTunes and reinstall? What do I need to keep? What should I delete?
I won't be using iTunes to buy anything any more - it's a complete nightmare, but I don't want to lose what I already have bought,
MacBook Pro - latest OS X. iPhone 4s - latest iOS, iTunes 11.1
At the end of the line really, ready to give up - Any help would be greatly appreciated - even if it's a way of working without iTunes.

David, relax... if you can be patient, I would ask for turingtest2 or Chris CA within your initial question. IMHO, they are your best bet. They are two of the best but they are often busy helping others.
So why not give it a go?
Best Regards,
mm~

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