Desktop, laptop and iPhone: Need common contacts, calendars

Once upon a time, I could synch to MobileMe from my desktop MacPro, overwriting everything on MobileMe so that I then had two up to date copies of my calendars and contacts.  I would then synch my MacBook Pro with mobileme, overwriting everything on the laptop.  I would also connect my iPhone to the desktop, and synch it.  The result was two computers and one iPhone that all had the same data for calendars and contacts.  It took a bit of time to do, but it worked, and I could rely on it.
Now, the desktop and the iPhone can be kept in synch, and if I add something on either, the other will know about it -- mostly.  But the laptop is somehow out of the loop.  It has some of the contacts, but not all, and it is not getting updated.
How do I make ONE common contact database, and have 3 calendars (Personal, Work and Family) the same on all three devices?  So that if I make a change on one, the other two will automatically be updated.

That's exactly how it should work with iCloud, the same information everywhere.
If one of the calendars isn't syncing correctly, turn off calendar syning on that device, delete all the calendars on that device and then turn calendar syncing back on.
You may want to back up data before you do any of this.

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