'Do Not Disconnect ' but not updating..

Ok, I know there's another thread about this but a poster there chastised another poster for asking for help there (on the same topic), so I guess this is how its done:
When I plug in my iPod I get the infamous flashing 'do not disconnect' It is NOT updating. Infact 'update ipod' is not even an option I have. I left it to it last night thinking that it'd get to updating eventually and it went on flashing - and doing nothing - from 10:30p last night until 6:30a this morning. It's brand new. I only have 1 cd (that it has already converted) in my library and I have a usb 2.0. It's a 5th gen iPod and I run Windows XP. I have tried resetting it, I am a good girl and have read the manuals - the one it came with and the one online. I know how to get it to stop flashing and I know how to safely eject it, the problem is that flashing or not flashing it wont update.
A poster in the other thread suggesting reformating it but I have some questions about that - again I would have asked in that thread but a poster there said if we weren't the original poster we can't. Does reformatting just delete the songs or does it delete all the menus too? Will I have to reinstall all the software? Is there any other options?
5th Gen Windows XP

You were corrected on not to hijack a thread, per the terms of this site.
A "Do Not Disconnect' message on the IPOD is normal if you have disk use enabled: read this:
http://docs.info.apple.com/article.html?artnum=61135
Do you have your IPOD set to "Auto Update" or "Manually" Update: read these
http://www.apple.com/support/ipod/tutorial/ipgettingstartedt3.html
http://www.apple.com/support/ipod/tutorial/ipgettingstartedt1.html
Let's determine this first.
Restoring your IPOD wipes it out and puts it back to how it left the factory:
Restoring IPOD to factory Settings - http://docs.info.apple.com/article.html?artnum=60983

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