"do not disconnect" does not disappear, computer does not recognize ipod

Hi, if someone can help me, I will be eternally grateful, as I have been struggling to fix this this for a while now.
The problem began when, one day, iTunes decided to not recognize the ipod and would not update any songs. (By the way I use windows xp on a dell laptop.)
I tried resetting the ipod, and using a different usb port and both did not work.
Then, I uninstalled Quicktime, iTunes, and the ipod software, then reinstalled everything again (all the newest versions). This didn't do anything.
After that I went to start > all programs > ipod > ipod updater 3.23.2006, in the attempt to restore the ipod and just erase everything. However, when the screen shows "plug in an ipod to update it," the update and restore options never become available. This is the main problem - I need to get that restore option available.
I changed the ipod drive letter as well. And if this helps at all, the ipod still works when I unplug it from the computer. But when I plug it back in to the port, again all I get is "do not disconnect."
I am trying to give as much information as possible, so, if this is important too - when I go to Manage under My Computer, and then Device Manager, anything regarding an ipod does not show up.
If anyone can take a moment and help me out, I would really, really appreciate it. Thank you for your time.
Windows XP

I'm having almost the same problem. I get USB device is not recognized. I have a mini, using XP Pro SP2, IBM Thinkpad.
Here's the thing. This mini used to work just fine on my computer. As a matter of fact it will work on every other computer I plug it into except this one. In fact I tried two other ipods that work just fine on other puters but not mine. Obviously there's a prob with the config of the puter. There must be a silver bullet here I just don't know what it is.
Here's what I tried.
1. Uninstalled and reinstalled iTunes and ipod updater
2. Ran my spyware tool per advice here ... caught some spyware, but nothing that helped me
3. Unchecked the power management in Root Hub of device manager
4. This is one that got me somewhere for a moment ... I went into device manager and disabled anything that said high speed, advanced, or 2.0 under USB Devices ... after that my ipod was recognized, but I received the warning that it was a high speed device connected to a non-high speed port ... per instructions on this forum I then put the latest iTunes and used the most recent ipod updater ... after that I re-enabled the high speed and now it won't recognize again
I'm sure I did a bunch of other crap that did not work, but I think the fact that it recognizes when I disable the enhanced/2.0 hub should point to something specific. I'm going to compare settings with the countless computers my pod works on, but until then if anyone has any insight I'd love to hear it.

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Try ejecting your iPod from iTunes. You might want to look at Knowledge Base Document #61685 about The "Do Not Disconnect" Message and Knowledge Base Document #93492 explains How to Safely Disconnect the iPod.
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This morning I made the simple error of unplugging my iPod without safely ejecting it first--a moment's inattention and now I'm stuck.
I plugged it back in and tried to safely remove it as usual. The "remove this peripheral" window appeared but froze, with the hourglass hanging there.
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"do not disconnect" does not disappear, computer does not recognize ipod

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