Do you need to open ical or reminders to get them to sync/update?

I have a iPad and a iPhone and when I create a new reminder or ical event on either device it does not automatically sync to the other without me launching that app on the other device.
For example I create a new reminder on my iPad for 8am tomorrow morning. I do not launch reminders on my iPhone so 8am the next morning comes and goes without reminding me of the thing I wanted to be reminded about.
Is there a setting that I am missing to get these updates to be pushed without my intervention? Just for clarity in my example above if I would have launched reminders on my iPhone I would have received the reminder I created on my iPad. I don't seem to have any problem with that.  

Hi
Try this, turn firewall on on the linksys, turn UPnP on, turn mac's firewall on(dont add any extra ports) restart iChat.
Tony

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