Does iTunes have a mind of its own?

I would like to preface this by saying that I do not want to see, hear, touch, taste, or smell iTunes unless I choose to open iTunes from the start menu. The one and only reason in the entire world that I even have it installed on any computer that I use is because my iPhone won't sync with anything else that i know of.
I have done everything I see to do to keep this program from opening by itself. I have turned off updates and perform them manually. I have all media file extensions set to open in Windows Media Player. WMP is set to be my default media player. According to all the options I see, iTunes should not be opening... but it does! All the time! When I open a move, the movie opens in WMP... 10 seconds after WMP opens, iTunes opens. What is it doing? Nothing. It opens and displays my library while WMP is still open playing the movie I chose. Furthermore, when I attempt to close it it pauses for some time before alerting me that "one or more applications is still using the scripting interface..."
To summarize:
When I open a media file it opens in windows media player.
When windows media player opens iTunes opens.
iTunes does not close immediately because it claims something is using it's scripting interface.
I do not want itunes to open unless I open it.
What can I do to fix this?
Is there an alternative utility I can use to sync with my iPhone?
There are no plugins in iTunes, my phone is not attached to my system in these instances, itunes is up to date, windows media player is up to date, windows vista is up to date, and I don't appear to have any driver issues.

Not sure what you do in Vista, it might be the same as XP. click the start button, then open the run window. type msconfig.
Here you will find an interface where you can change what automatically starts on your computer. Be warned though, do not turn off items willy nilly or your computer might not boot correctly.
In the startup section you will see all sorts of programs that are started when you boot. From experience nearly all programs these days want to "own" your pc.
The installer programs want to make sure their program is used over others. If you look down the list you will see what iTunes stuff is loading, you can uncheck all of this as it is not necessary and only takes up RAM. iTunes will load perfectly well without this "assistance".
I would advise you to google up on the msconfig options and turn off most of the ones that programs run. Exceptions would be virus/malware scanners etc. Some common ones that run are Adobe stuff like acrobat reader, MS office assistance like fast find, also imaging software tends to do this. That's why you see icons appear in the system tray. Sometimes programs are run from the registry and are much harder to stop at start up.
In my view with so much RAM available these days it is totally unnecessary for programmers to do this.

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