Droid X-conference call-caller hold issues???

Here is exactly what is going on:
I call Hubby 1st call and he answers
If I click dial pad instead of add call it only gives me the choice to end call on the dial pad instead of send I click add call then dial my home 2nd call click on green phone to send
I can hear him talking while it shows connecting/connected In Call but after a minute still no ring at all....it also shows merge call.
I tried the merge call but nothing changes...during this I can still him talking.
If I click the dial pad instead of the add call the only option is to end call. Should I be able to hear him? It is like the 1st call stays active it never goes on hold.
Thanks, Angie

I copy and pasted the following from my Droid X User Guide.  It was on page 11.
Conference calls
To start a conference call, call the first number. After
the call connects, touch
Add Call. Dial the next
number, or select it from contacts or favorites. When
the next number answers, touch
Merge calls.
Tip:
Before merging, you can switch back and forth
between the two calls by touching
Switch calls.

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