E-mail synch, read/unread, how can I set this up?

I'd like to refer to an older question I found which hadn't been answered properly.
https://discussions.apple.com/thread/3557308?start=0&tstart=0
Quite simply, the question is;
I have my work e-mail, my Hotmail and my Gmail all set-up on my iPhone 4S and my iPad 1st gen.
When I read an e-mail on the computer via browser or outlook, I would like for this e-mail to appear as READ on my devices as well.
Vise versa for when I read it on the iPad/Phone and I want that e-mail to show as read on Outlook and browser.
Because this doesn't happen automatically, the Mail icon on my home screen is constantly showing over 1K e-mails, when in reality I may have like 10 on each e-mail account.
How can I set this up?
Is it possible for my to set this up for deleting e-mails also?
I know I can do that on Gmail, delete from server blah blah, but how about when I delete e-mail from Outlook...I want them to be off my phone also.
It's a business e-mail, and I get like over 50 read/received notifications that spam my inbox.
Thank you for taking the time to read and for any advice you may have.

Please go to
1.Setting
2. mail,contacts and calenders
3. add accounts
4. insert your email account and password
5. Autometically imports your mails if you open mail folder on the desktop..
That is it.

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