Email issues with iP4, Cox Communications

So I convinced my mother to get an iPhone 4 yesterday, and I have been setting it up for her.
She has Cox Communications (omaha, ne) email, and the AT&T guy told me it should be easy to set up her email on the phone.
I set it up with her name, email, password, etc on the phone, but the phone wouldnt download any messages to the inbox?
It can recieve the emails I send as tests, but it wont recieve messages from my dad or others that show up in her outlook on her computer.
I went to the Apple store here in omaha, but he just deleted the account and reset it up and the problem still is there.  we logged on to the webmail version of the email, and it was also empty.  But she still had messages on her Outlook on her computer, but they wouldnt transfer to the phone.
She can still recieve my emails from both my own iphone and macbook.
I am totally at a loss.  The Apple guy who helped us could send her an email and it showed up (on both the Outlook and the iPhone), but no other messages will.  He said it was probably an issue with Cox, and to call them.  But when I called them earlier (first step to try to resolve the issue, before driving out to the Apple store), they just gave me the servers for incoming and outgoing, along with ports, and they said to go to Apple if it still didnt work.  Then I had the Apple guy direct me back to Cox.
I'm getting the run around, and no solutions.
Any help?

Note this procedure may be a little different depending on the version of Outlook.
Open Outlook.  Click "Tools" on the top menu bar.  Select "Account Setting".  Click on the name of the account.(on the "E-Mail" tab). Click on "Change".  Click on "More Settings".  Click on the "Advanced" tab.  If not checked, click on the check box for "Leave a copy of the message on the server"

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