Error -43 and updating to iOS5 without restoring and losing All Music

Hi there, I've been trying to update my third generation iPod Touch to iOS5. My iPad 2 updated with no issue. Whenever I try to update My iTouch I get this error message during the backup phase of installation (even though when I manually backup it seems to do so with no issue.)
I've read other threads and see that most people have "restored" their pod and then it worked but lost all their music files. Mine are not all from iTunes and while I have on an external hard drive, the 4,000 + songs are organized in gibberish folders/code so it would take days to re drop non itunes songs/videos back on aka a major pain and tedious. I would love iOS5 but not at the expense of deleting all my info and starting over when I know its worked and should work on other Apple devices. Has anyone else had success upgrading to iOS5 without erasing their files, or spoken to someone at Apple about this particular error?
I went to the Apple store and was told to uninstall iTunes and reinstall it and then try. That did nothing. Same message.
For reference, I'm on a Windows Vista HP laptop, newest itunes 10.5. Any tips/tricks people have tried would be much appreciated Thank you!

Turn off all security software.
Basic troubleshooting steps
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You did try creating a new user account on the Mac and tried updating that way? You have no security software running on the Mac?
The app that was downloaded using your son's ID should not affect the update to the best of my knowledge.
jparrsies wrote:
On a related question, I would not care so much if i could make a good backup and not have the upgrade overwrite this backup. Once I start the upgrade, iTunes thinks I've never done a successful backup of the iPad and yet I've done at least a dozen over time.
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How to put iPod touch / iPhone into DFU mode « Karthik's scribblings
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https://discussions.apple.com/message/12690674#12690674
https://discussions.apple.com/message/13032101#13032101
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Error -43 and updating to iOS5 without restoring and losing All Music

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