Event invites from Mail appearing in Calendar as "Maybe" but not showing in Calendar inbox

Hello everyone,
I'm actually new to using invites and Calendar on iPhone, so maybe it's something I'm missing. But when I receive an invitation for an event that was created and sent from another iPhone using Calendar, I am not easily finding the option to "Accept" or "Deny".
The calendar source is a CalDAV server, and all systems are functioning 100% as expected on that end. The calendars are accessible and editable by any device, so I'm pretty sure the issue isn't here.
I would expect the "mime-attachment.ics" received in the email to allow me to reply from that source, or to at least find the invite automatically listed in my Calendar "Inbox". Neither is the case. However, if I go and find the event in the calendar itself, it's sitting there with "hash" marks through the event until I go in and "Accept" or "Deny". At this point, it shows up in my Calendar inbox under the "Replied" section. So, it's definitely making it into my calendar.
Should it not automatically show up in my Calendar inbox under the "New" section from the beginning? Or what about being able to "Accept" or "Deny" straight through Mail? Hopefully I'm not goofin' up here -- but I sure am stumped.
Thanks for any help.
~Laz

Eustace, sadly this did not work. It's a full week and I had to keep using Thunderbird to check that I'm not missing any mail. I don't get it, some comes in, some gets left out.
Today I tired Eric Root's reindexing solution and that did not do anything either.
I saw mail bringing in 188 messages and NOTHING new showed up. It did in T-bird because it was all the past week's mail
Thunderbird *****. It doesn't even pay attention to rules I set up in it. I want my Apple mail back!
Can I try to reinstall the mail app from my disks without having to delete the mail app entirely? Will the new files overwrite the old ones and 'freshen' it up (so to speak) and fix this communicaiton issue?

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In fact the feed is at http://bongqiuqiu.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default
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======================
Meeting Invitation: Norman Conquest has invited you to a meeting
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======================
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But what's really got me is that this whole process is so inaccessible! You'd think there would be preferences where you could tell Mail what kind of invitations to look for and tell iCal which calendar to put them in. But no. There's just one checkbox to turn the process on or off. You just check it and cross your fingers.
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I use an iMac at work and a MacBook Pro at home. They recently switched to a Notes-based calendar program at work, and since I don't have the Notes client installed on either machine (someone from our IT department has spent about four hours trying to install it on the iMac with no success) and the web application only works with IE 6, and there is no provision for synching the calendar with my PDA, when I heard that the e-mail meeting invitations could be imported into iCal, I was all over that.
When I opened iCal on the iMac I found that there was a "Work" calendar, and iCal's "Automatically retrieve invitations from Mail" box was checked, there were no entries in the Work calendar--or any other calendar.
When I initially looked into it, I found several threads (e.g. http://discussions.apple.com/thread.jspa?messageID=5186410) in the iCal forum about time zones not being imported correctly (I wish my problems were that minor!) from Lotus Notes meeting invitations. But these threads showed vCal messages and mentioned error dialogs. I hadn't seen any dialogs, and my meting invitations are just plain text messages like this:
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Meeting Invitation: Norman Conquest has invited you to a meeting
Meeting Details
Subject: Let's Kill an Hour, Shall We?
Begins: 11/26/07 9:00:00 AM
Ends: 11/26/07 10:00:00 AM
Location: The Bored Room
Chair: Norman Conquest
Required Invitees: Upton O'Good, Natalie Attired, Hugh Mility, Justin Case
Optional Invitees:
To view all the details of the meeting and act on it if necessary, please
click the link below to view your calendar
======================
So I just assumed I was foiled again because the messages were not in the right format.
Later I happened to open my MacBook Pro, and, much to my surprise, I found that a small number of meetings had actually found their way into iCal, and in at least one case I know of, one has actually been rescheduled! I could hardly contain myself.
At first I thought the small number of meetings was simply due to the fact that I receive most of my work e-mail at work, on the iMac, so only those meeting invitations that I happened to open for the first time on my MacBook Pro had been imported. However, this turned out not to be the case, as I have observed many cases in which I have received new, unread meeting invitations on my MacBook Pro which have not been entered in iCal.
But what's really got me is that this whole process is so inaccessible! You'd think there would be preferences where you could tell Mail what kind of invitations to look for and tell iCal which calendar to put them in. But no. There's just one checkbox to turn the process on or off. You just check it and cross your fingers.
Just to deepen the mystery a little bit, I do know of one other Mac user who says his invitations are being reliably entered into iCal, and he can even reply to them. When I asked him for details he told me he just turned it on and it worked.
Is there anyone out there who can at least shed a little light on what I've observed, if not help me get this process working at least quasi-reliably? Is this process working for anybody else out there?

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I should clarify that.
Lotus Notes Meeting Invitations aren't being imported into iCal +with any degree of reliability+, and the more I look into this, the more mysterious it seems to get.
Here's my situation. I use an iMac at work and a MacBook Pro at home. They recently switched to a Notes-based calendar program at work, and since I don't have the Notes client installed on either machine (someone from our IT department has spent about four hours trying to install it on the iMac with no success) and the web application only works with IE 6, and there is no provision for synching the calendar with my PDA, when I heard that the e-mail meeting invitations could be imported into iCal, I was all over that.
When I opened iCal on the iMac I found that there was a "Work" calendar, and iCal's "Automatically retrieve invitations from Mail" box was checked, there were no entries in the Work calendar--or any other calendar.
When I initially looked into it, I found several threads (e.g. http://discussions.apple.com/thread.jspa?messageID=5186410) in the iCal forum about time zones not being imported correctly (I wish my problems were that minor!) from Lotus Notes meeting invitations. But these threads showed vCal messages and mentioned error dialogs. I hadn't seen any dialogs, and my meting invitations are just plain text messages like this:
======================
Meeting Invitation: Norman Conquest has invited you to a meeting
Meeting Details
Subject: Let's Kill an Hour, Shall We?
Begins: 11/26/07 9:00:00 AM
Ends: 11/26/07 10:00:00 AM
Location: The Bored Room
Chair: Norman Conquest
Required Invitees: Upton O'Good, Natalie Attired, Hugh Mility, Justin Case
Optional Invitees:
To view all the details of the meeting and act on it if necessary, please
click the link below to view your calendar
======================
So I just assumed I was foiled again because the messages were not in the right format.
Later I happened to open my MacBook Pro, and, much to my surprise, I found that a small number of meetings had actually found their way into iCal, and in at least one case I know of, one has actually been rescheduled! I could hardly contain myself.
At first I thought the small number of meetings was simply due to the fact that I receive most of my work e-mail at work, on the iMac, so only those meeting invitations that I happened to open for the first time on my MacBook Pro had been imported. However, this turned out not to be the case, as I have observed many cases in which I have received new, unread meeting invitations on my MacBook Pro which have not been entered in iCal.
But what's really got me is that this whole process is so inaccessible! You'd think there would be preferences where you could tell Mail what kind of invitations to look for and tell iCal which calendar to put them in. But no. There's just one checkbox. You just check it and cross your fingers.
Is there anyone out there who can at least shed a little light on what I've observed, if not help me get this process working at least quasi-reliably?

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Event invites from Mail appearing in Calendar as "Maybe" but not showing in Calendar inbox

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