Exporting/Converting PDFs to XLSX

Right side column says :Export PDF" "Convert to" - I picked XLSX.
I was requested to pay $23.88
I paid this money by credit card.
After paying, I am told that EXPORTPDF will only convert to WORD.
This is FALSE ADVERTISING.
HOW do I get MY MONEY BACK??
Please help.

Thanks for the response.  Yeah, I'm a total digital packrat, so I make a point of not throwing stuff away if I have the chance.
If you got a few minutes to spare, can you check out one of the print ads I was talking about?  http://goo.gl/FBPsN (5.5MB PDF).  I used the Preflight fix, "Convert to PDF/X-1a (SWOP)" under PDF/X compliance and even though I just upgraded to CS5.5, it still shifts two characters over.
I'm wondering if it's the settings that I used (just used the defaults), but it definitely tells me that I have to watch this stuff like a hawk and that PDF/X-1a conversion is not a digital prepress panacea.  Have you ever experienced images taking a hit in quality (ie: introducing JPG image compression)?

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