Family share troubles - issues inviting and issues seing apps

I'm having some serious issues with family sharing for my kids iPads. Since their old ones are  ... old we decided to give them each a iPad Air. Before I've had them setup with my account but I decided to use family sharing and give them their own accounts.
Problem 1: I first didn't realize that you could set up kids appleId so I created a AppleId for my son with a "fake" birthdate. Everything got set up on his iPad and waiting to be added to our family. on my iPad 2 I had set me up as the family organizer, made sure "share apps" was selected and invited my son via his AppleId. He got the mail with the invitation on his iPad but when I clicked on the blue button in the mail to view the invitation it just brought me to a webpage in Safari telling me to do this on an IOS or Yosemite OSX-machine. Thanks Apple - where did you think I was?
Short story - never got that working on either kids iPad. I can log in to icloud.com with their id's but can't accept any invite there either.
In the end I realized I could create kids AppsId's from the family sharing screen on my iPad. I did that for both kids setting up that they need to ask to buy/download apps.
Problem 2: After the kids AppleID's were created i set up to restart the iPad-setup for my sons iPad, now with his AppleID. Next issue: I could choose to log in with his AppleID and got to the next screen accepting something but when it then started to set up the AppleID I got the error that it could not create the AppleID. Which is correct as it already exists.
Short story: I found out I could not do the full setup using my kids AppleID's, only a "Adult" AppleID. However - if I simply choose to skip that step and got into the iPad I could then add their AppleID account to both iTunes/Appstore and iCloud on that iPad.
Problem 3: Ok, I managed to "sneak" in the accounts on each child iPad. I tested to to a purchase/download on them and it first asked for password (their) and then it told them it would ask med for permission. After I gave it they could download the app. So so far so good. But then the issue poped up: neither of the kids iPads can see the main iPad's apps.
On my "parent" iPad I get a new link under Purchases saying "My purchases" and from there I can select my iPad or my kids and thus see any shared app. Neither of their iPads have that link.
I've tried everything that was specified on Apple's troubleshooting page:
My iPad has family sharing of apps turned on on my user
I've made sure the AppleID logged into iTunes/Appstore is the same as the one for iCloud
I've logged out of iTunes/Appstore and in again on the main iPad
I've downloaded a free app on my main iPad.
I've bought/downloaded apps on all 3 iPads after this was set up. Main iPad sees the kids apps, not the other way around.
What the .... could be the issue? My iPad Air 2 is pretty newly installed and the kids iPad Air's are brand new. I love the idea of family sharing but unless I find a solution soon I will have to go back to letting them have my account there and rely on passwords to block them from buying stuff (which works as they are pretty young (3 and 6).

HerrmannFamily
I can't help you with your issue, but I can ask our gracious Hosts to get this moved to the Using iPhone forum where it may get wider exposure than it has received in this relatively low traffic forum whose topic is Using the ASC webForum.
best luck
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