Fan, battery, lighting, all messed up

I have the 15" MacBook Pro Intel Core i7. Bought it in April 2010 new.
I was just sitting here having turned on the computer for like 10 minutes. Running Chrome and Skype. Suddenly it shut down. I started it back up and the fan is in overdrive but the machine is cold. The date was messed up. The battery is not being detected, the power adaptor doesn't light up yet the computer is working with or without the power adaptor. The keyboard backlighting is gone. Doesn't hold my internet connection automatically when I have to restart. Must reneter password or select my network.
I did run the software update yesterday for the first time. Have reset the SMC and zapped the PRAM.
What happened?

Reset the SMC again:
http://support.apple.com/kb/HT3964
If that doesn't fix it, take it in for service.
Message was edited by: eww

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