Farewell to Firefox, a Reluctant Hello to Safari: Too Many New Windows

After months of frustration and multiple daily crashes, I have had to abandon the Firefox browser on my Mac and I'm taking my daily browsing (only like 85% of my daily experience) to Safari - 4.0.3 on Leopard 10.5.8. I've read enough here about probs people are having with 4.0.4 to be in no particular hurry to upgrade to that version.
So far, I miss being able to use the real Google toolbar, and I think 1Password is not as friendly with Safari - it keeps failing to log me into various sites even though the login for them is correct.
But the biggest irritation with Safari so far is its tendency to open new browser windows instead of opening a link in a new tab in the existing window. It sorta does that a LOT and I can't quite figure what preference setting to change to alter that behavior.
Right now I have blockup popper activated, and "cmd-click opens a link in a new tab" is NOT checked -- because I don't want to (shouldn't have to?) hold down the cmd key to open a new tab - should I?
I'm also finding that clicking the scroll button to launch a link or a bookmark opens a new window - is there any way to get that to open the link or the bookmark in a new tab instead?
I just want to be able to control the number of windows that are opening on my desktop, and so far I can't seem to figure how to do that with Safari.
Thanks,
--PS

I've read enough here about probs people are having with 4.0.4 to be in no particular hurry to upgrade to that version.
The only thing you've read is about people who have some issue with 4.0.4 that isn't really an issue with the browser, but rather their system or a particular web site. Latching onto anecdotal tales that are unsupported by evidence is dangerous.
So far, I miss being able to use the real Google toolbar
What "real" Google toolbar is this? Are you saying you can't search in the Google search window in Safari, like everyone else? That has nothing to do with Safari; that's your personal issue.
I think 1Password is not as friendly with Safari - it keeps failing to log me into various sites even though the login for them is correct.
1Password works just fine with Safari; if you can't login to a web site using the correct information stored by 1Password, it's the web site, not 1Password.
"cmd-click opens a link in a new tab" is NOT checked -- because I don't want to (shouldn't have to?) hold down the cmd key to open a new tab - should I?
Yes, you should have to check that box, unless you think that Safari is able to read your mind and know what you want. Aside from that, links are either targeted or untargeted, so you need to either force an untargeted link to be opened in a new tab instead of a new window, or force a targeted link to open in a different manner than what it will now.
is there any way to get that to open the link or the bookmark in a new tab instead?
Press the Command key before clicking or double-clicking on the link.
I just want to be able to control the number of windows that are opening on my desktop, and so far I can't seem to figure how to do that with Safari.
If you ignore setting your preferences correctly and learning how the various options in Safari work, you're going to have problems. Safari does not bend to your will, you need to adapt to it, just like you adapt to using any new application.

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