Flat-panel display that did work... please help!

Hi everyone. Your help on a little problem I've got would be muchly appreciated. Please allow me to explain.
I bought my Dad a Mac mini as his first computer, about eight months ago. We couldn't afford to get him a new monitor with it - so I picked up one from eBay. We had a few problems with it initially when we got to his house and plugged it all up (I had already tested it myself at my home, and it was fine). Basically, the display would 'go to sleep' whenever we plugged it into the computer.
We finally managed to get it working by plugging a different monitor into it - although I'm not entirely sure what changed and why it now worked!
Recently, he had to take it all apart as he was decorating his living room and, when he put it all back together again, he is now having the same problem. Except now I'm 300 miles away and am trying to help him over the phone...
The problem where the monitor 'goes to sleep' is back again. Plugging in another monitor he's been able to borrow temporarily works fine. Interestingly, I can remote desktop to his machine from my house and see that system preferences > display thinks that, when his monitor is plugged in and it says its asleep, the Mac mini thinks that the borrowed Dell monitor is still plugged in (the title bar for sys prefs says 'Dell' with the model number).
I think it has something to do with the resolution that the Mac mini is trying to push out to his monitor, and it not being able to handle it. Is the Mac Mini thinking the wrong monitor is plugged in, and putting the wrong resolution and refresh rate out to it? How does the Mac mini know what the monitor can handle?
I have tried resetting the PRAM, and I've also tried removing the preferences files described in this hint (http://discussions.apple.com/thread.jspa?messageID=3981395&#3981395).
It does work on some of the resolutions (I can change the resolution over remote desktop and my Dad tells me if he can see anything his end), but the ideal one he was using before doesn't work. It briefly worked on a good resolution, but I clicked 'Detect displays', and then it 'went to sleep' again, and we can't get it back.
Can anyone help please! My Dad loves his new Mac - this is the first thing to go wrong with it in all the time he's had it. And I'm a little stumped!
Thanks for any help you can give!

Thanks for the response.
I'm not 100% what make the monitor is - certainly nothing I had ever heard of before.
The resolution we were trying to get was 1024 x 768, I believe. The monitor could handle the resolution above, and it could handle the resolution below (in the sys prefs > displays list).
Tellingly, when I change the external monitor connected to my Macbook, System Prefereces > Displays will indicate in the title bar what model monitor is plugged in. However, on my Dad's Mini, when we plugged his monitor in (after having the Dell monitor he borrowed plugged in), System Preferences still thought he had the Dell monitor plugged in.
Could the problem be that OS X thinks its is displaying through the Dell monitor still (which has different capabilities to Dad's monitor), and therefore putting a resolution out to the monitor that it can't handle? If this is the case, then I would guess that either the DDC signal in the monitor is broken, or whatever mechanism in the Mac Mini to detect this isn't working properly.
Any thoughts anyone?

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