Getting alarms for events in delegate calendar, but alarm not set in event

I use iCal as a front-end to Google Apps calendar (gCal). I am using the CalDAV interface to gCal. I set up iCal to sync 1) with my gCal and 2) with 2 other gCals, of business associate, via iCal delegates. This is mostly working. In iCal I see the events for all 3 calendars and syncing seems OK.
The problem is that for one of the delegate calendars, I get Alarm pop-ups for every event scheduled by that colleague. In most cases I am not an attendee in the event. When I look at the event settings, in this delegate calendar, the "Alarm" is set to none.
I'd really like to stop getting this extraneous Alarm pop-ups. Thanks in advance for any assistance.

Actually, not quite ditto. I am not using gCal. I have a CalDAV server, with two calendars served, my wife's and mine. Each of us is a delegate of the other. On iCal on her computer, she has "ignore alerts" set for all my calendars, and this works. However, she gets the alerts on her iphone. I cannot find an option to "ignore alerts" for the iPhone calendar app. What am I missing here?

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