Getting aroung sync - help please

I have 2 new nanos, one is mine the other is my sister's.
At first, I could click and drag songs from my library to the ipods. This was great because I could select certain songs I wanted. Well I decided to "sync" my ipod and I hate it! Now whenever I plug in my ipod, all the songs are grey and I can't select them or anything. And I don't want certain songs and it wont let me get around it! Can someone help?
I haven't sync'd my sister's yet and it still lets me drag and copy so I won't be doing it to hers.
Thanks

Create a new playlist.
Select the iPod in iTunes.
Select the Music tab.
Tick Sync music and Sync selected playlists, then select the playlist(s) you want to sync.
Now just add or delete songs from this playlist and plug in the iPod to update it.
If you really want to manually manage the music on the iPod, select the iPod and on the Summary tab, select Manually manage music.
To me, this kind of defeats the purpose of ease of use of iTunes/iPod.

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