Gmail and Mac Mail on Mac Book Pro OS Lion

I have a Gmail account
I have set this up on my Mac Book Pro in Mail
E-mails come in to Mail, I then archive the ones I want to save and then I attempt to delete them from the inbox and the sent box
The inbox then refills all the emails from Gmail
When I look online at my gmail account, it shows all the same e-mails but with "IMAP Deleted" next to it
How can I set it up, so that if I delete the emails on the Mac, they are deleted online and do not continue to refresh and repopulate?
Thanks
Andrew

My question too! I don't see the need to archive messages I want to delete. If want to archive, I should be able to archive them to a folder, which mail apparently does not do like Gmail. I much prefer archiving them to specific folders/labels instead of All Mail. I've never even liked All Mail so I keep it hidden so I can forget it is there.
If I want to delete, it is because I want them Gone, to the trash to disappear for good.
And, I want what I do in mail or on my iPhone to be reflected in my Gmail account and visa-versa. But how?
I only use Mail because I want my gmail emails backed up somewhere in case my account disappears or I am permanently locked out suddenly, like has happened to some people. If I can't get it to work smoothly, after the countless hours I've already spent playing with it trying to figure it out, I will end up just dumping Mail I'm afraid. I'd like to keep using it though because there are some things I do like about it.
*Using Lion 10.7.3 on late-2008 MBP, Mail, Gmail, and iOS for iPhone 4S

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