Got sync but refusal to connect, ongoing for sever...

Question

Hello!
Nice great big wall of text for my first ever post
I've been having issues with my broadband for several months now, I get the flashing amber (or solid red) broadband light of doom and the router although sync'd at a massively reduced speed of 2.9meg, simply refuses to connect. Something like "could not be established: connection reset by peer/user/idletimeout".
This really all started around Christmas 2010, when my connection dropped for the first time years, no fault was ever found and the BB mysteriously started working again at around half it's orginal speed, then we got the 20meg upgrade at the exchange and my connection shot up to 14meg, 3 weeks later it died and i've had issues ever since.
I call support and tell them what i've tried (everything on their help sheet), I then get told they're reporting it to engineers/techinical and that it will take 5 days or more (which is conveniently i beleive the time where they can declare it case closed), the fault then mysteriously disappears and i've got a 14meg sync and im connected, the case seems to be closed, then 2 weeks later (usually on a Sunday morning at around 7am) the fault comes back again. Rinse/repeat, over and over and over and over again.
Yesterday I woke up to no connection, spent the best part of 3 hours repeatedly calling BT. I've got a phone fault logged and an engineer coming out on Tuesday.
I've got a BB fault logged and am expecting a call this morning, but as I now have connection again, im betting they assume it's fixed and don't call.... In which case i'll be without internet again in 2 weeks time.
I spoke to the Engineer that came out near Christmas (and I use that term loosely, because as a real engineer I find it's use offensive), who told me that with the new upgraded ADSL, the equipment at the exchange will refuse a connection below around 8meg (apparently it's causing massive problems), so what im assuming is that noise on my line is causing my BRAS to be reduced to the point where the exchange refuses my connection.
It's infuriating that this fault is clearly just being "patched up" and the root cause is never beign tackled.
In the quality engineering world, we call that "fire fighting" and in the defence sector quality engineering world, "fire fighting" gets people killed.
The staff at the Indian call centre are more concerned with meeting daily targets than they are with fixing my fault (which I do sympathise with). When you set daily targets on staff, they don't want to spend hours helping one person and will take the first opportunity to fob you off.
I'd also take a guess that they have to call back a certain number if times if the phone call is cut off? Because one guy I spoke to (once he realised I knew more than him) cut me off, called me back, cut me off, called me back and then cut me off again. Again just meeting his targets.
It's annoying but I don't blame them at all, they've got jobs to keep and mouths to feed. But in my humble opinion their daily targets are THE reason my fault is (and I dare say many others) not being fixed!!

Answer 1

Rgr that, will do. Assistance greatly appreciate
Interesting development, I just lost the BB again and the router reset as usual to a 2.9 - 3meg sync.... I decided to do something i've been told never to do and I repeatedly connected/disconnected the phone line (maybe 50 times) in an attempt to force the exchange into registering a fault/disconnection. Now guess what? im back on now 14meg sync (8meg actual tested).
Ohhhh this is exciting, I wonder if this was luck or not? I'd rather not risk testing it though!
14:32pm, been up since some silly hour this morning waiting for the call I was promised (which I had doubts about anyway, with it being Sunday), no contact :/
Mind if I drop in a few tags to help people searching the web for this problem?
Homehub
ATM could not send loopback cell
Connection could not be established: Disconnected by peer
Connection could not be established: Disconnected by user
Connection could not be established: Disconnected because idle timeout reached