Grrrr. Or, "A Sucker's Guide to Safari"

Question

(I thought I posted this an hour ago but it is not showing up...)
<edited by host>
Basic question: Is there a (marginally) functional browser for the iMac? I have mostly struggled with Safari (code named "Beachball") - see below - but I've also tried Netscape and Explorer and they seem to have their own unique sets of problems.
As background, I have a 1 GHz iMac G4 running 10.3.9. 768 MB of physical RAM. We are in a residential home hooked up to cable internet with a router into which both this machine and my girlfriend's antiquated Windows 98 machine are connected. Invariably, I get snappier response on her PC than on this thing. I've done the basics that I know about - clearing the cache, deleting every possible browser window I can get along without (to great inconvenience at times), and killing every other program running on the machine to free memory. Still I am staring at a beachball more often than not it seems.
I'm using Safari 1.3.2. I checked in here a few months ago and learned to my utter shock that Apple had not bothered to release a new version in years. This boggled my mind, with all of its obvious problems. But I read somewhere that in whichever decade Apple deigned to release an update, it would show up in my regular "New Software" window. Now I am checking in again, and I notice a sub-forum about "Safari 3 beta". Hello? Did I miss a whole major rev? Why was this kept a state secret from Apple's loyal users?
Now on to my specific rants about this shiny and impressive-looking but almost utterly useless piece of crud. For the purposes of catharsis I have given my complaints the subheadings they would have if there were an honest, unvarnished User's Guide to Safari. If anyone thinks these problems may be of my own doing I would appreciate knowing why.
A Sucker's Guide to Safari (aka "Beachball")
Not Now Honey, I'm Washing the Windows
Safari is designed to get geometrically slower as the number of open windows increases. On a PC, you might have about twenty windows open and the incremental slowdown is barely perceptible. With more than about five windows open in Safari however, the program will go into our patented, proprietary "Glacial Advance Mode (tm)". This is actually a nice feature, as it will teach you to simplify your life. We feel that more than five open windows is unnecessary clutter. Remember, less information at your fingertips is more.
It's Hard to Remember to Forget Sometimes
Safari will typically hang up for about 30 to 45 seconds simply deleting a window. You may wonder what the program could possibly be doing at these times, as it doesn't take more than a couple seconds to delete resources like that. The answer? Absolutely nothing. This was just an idea our programmers had for giving you time to go get a snack. Thoughtful, huh?
Don't Press This Button!
There is a little "refresh/stop loading" button at the top of each browser window. Do not ever press it. It is solely there for decoration, and to make Safari users believe they are operating a professional browser. If you press it while it is showing an "X" at any but the earliest split seconds of a window downloading, it will ignore your request to stop loading... until the window has finally completed and it has turned into the arrow (reload) button. Then it is MORE than happy to "process" your request, which it now interprets as a "reload". This will reinitiate the long, character-building, designed-to-be-slower-than-molasses Safari page load process. This "adding insult to injury" fail safe will quickly teach you not to press it. Bad user. Didn't your mother teach you not to touch everything you found in front of you?
Pass Me the Beach Ball!
Ever notice when you are on the beach and things get really slow, someone will break out a beach ball and start tossing it around? Well, we have attempted to recreate that "vacation experience" in Safari for your relaxation and pleasure. Often after you are done loading the last link you clicked on and Safari isn't required to do anything, it will get bored and begin batting one around on a whim. Do NOT interrupt its fun! Would you like it if you were swatting one around at the shore and someone stepped in and said, "Excuse me, I need some information"? No, you wouldn't, and neither does Safari. Have some consideration.
Don't Look at Me Like That!
Safari will crash if you breathe on it wrong, so please brush your teeth regularly while using it. There are many websites that, while perfectly accessible from other browsers, will routinely disintegrate our application into a blithering heap of pitiful bit-rubble. Life is a fragile thing, and this is our way of reminding you. After quitting, Safari will ask you if you would like to share your interesting experience with the nice programmers at Apple. Rest assured that cursing in the text window will not help your cause. We will put out a new version when we are good and ready, which is approximately never.
The Cursors and Arrows of Outrageous Misfortune
The cursor arrow will sometimes inexplicably disappear if you run it through a certain anti-magic "land mine" spot on the screen on some windows. You will have to fumble around without a visible arrow on the screen until some unclear random event occurs and it reappears. Sort of like some wild and wonderful video game. This surreal experience is included in Safari at no extra cost to our users.
Drop Down and Give Me Twenty
Many web pages contain a widget known as a "dropdown" choice. These are bad web pages and should never be visited. As a way of enforcing this point, we have programmed a special tripwire feature. If, when the page has mostly downloaded but Safari is still doing its vital thumb-twiddling tasks (made evident by the blue bar still in the address window), you decide to change the drop down widget on the renegade page to your eventual choice, you will be punished. While the widget itself will appear as your newly selected choice, the page will sit as originally loaded. Now however, in order to really have the page loaded with that choice in mind, you cannot simply "reload". This is because the dropdown itself needs to send its command to the website you are on. So, thanks to Safari allowing the widget to change but not actually take effect, you have to change the dropdown control away from your preferred choice, let the page reload excruciatingly slowly, and then change it back to where you had it, and watch it reload excruciatingly slowly once again. This will teach you not to visit these insolent web pages. Use another browser if you want to work with them. We do not wish to validate them by engaging with them.
Manage Bookmarks? Sure.
When you choose this from the menu, it will wipe out whatever window you had on top. Sometimes there was information on the window that doesn't reload if you back up. Tough. We know that every other browser on the market opens a new window when you want to edit your bookmarks. We think this makes our browser unique. Expect the unexpected, that's our motto.
Have You Seen My Glasses?
Safari sometimes forgets where the edges of its windows are (or even the items inside them). At times you may click in the scroll bar at the right side to drag the slider down and advance the page, but it will think you are actually in the page, and instead highlight the contents! It will look like Safari's hand-to-eye coordination has completely broken down. This is normal. Safari is actually completely at peace with where its windows are. It is you, your eyes, the room around you, and in fact the rest of the known universe that is confused and deluded.
We hope this Sucker's Guide to Safari has been helpful. And don't forget that Safari is "The Most Advanced Browser Ever"!
iMac G4 1 GHz   Mac OS X (10.3.9)   768 MB

Answer 1

Hi
Welcome to Apple Discussions
Short answer, download and use either Firefox 2.0.4, or Camino for the time being, until you restore sanity..
Safari upgraded to version 2 with OS X Tiger. It's up to Beta 3 now (Beta means possible bugs) available to anyone with OS 10.4.9 or 10.4.10. It is being groomed for OS X Leopard come October. Whether it is still available as a final product on Tiger remains to be seen. As you have Panther, your version is the most recent. Changes in the browser and OS X made backward compatibility with Safari 2 not practical.
Yes, Safari has shortcomings, as do all browsers (Windows browsers are magnets for viruses, spyware, malware). Yet, I find it my browser of choice, simply because it works. Part of that equation = adjusting your Network settings in System Preferences to speed things up.
One tip: go to your system preferences>Network>TCP panel. In the DNS servers box, enter 4.2.2.1 and 4.2.2.2 on separate lines. Select "apply". Also, click on the show drop down menu>Network Port Configuration. At the top of the list ought to be your primary connection medium (ethernet, airport etc.) - you can drag it there if necessary. All others ought to be unchecked.
Whether this improves performance depends on other factors, such as bookmarks etc. In any event, these changes will prove helpful in the long run.
Answers to your other questions about Safari will come, but first I have a bunch of stuff to handle away from the computer. Perhaps, other contributors to this forum will step in.
I'll be back.