Having trouble sharing playlist on network

I'm new to this.  Have two computers on a local network.  My primary iTunes playlist is set up on desktop (running Windows XP).  I have also set up iTunes on the laptop (running Vista).  Read the article on sharing.  I followed the steps, but the sharing is going the wrong way.  The LT library currently contains only 3 songs, that I bought shortly after I got the iPod (touch).  The DT library contains those 3 songs, plus several more I've purchased and uploaded from cds.  I want to share the DT library with the LT.  I turned on home sharing on both computers.  On the DT, I went to Preferences and clicked the box "Share my library on my local network".    This box is NOT checked on the LT.  However, "Shared" doesn NOT appear in the left-hand column on the laptop.  It does appear on the DT, though, which seems backwards to me.  How do I get this to work?  What am I doing wrong??

Thought I could edit my post after the fact, but apparently not.  Update -- I figured it out.  The key seems to be that both computers have to have iTunes up and running.  Although I noticed it's not showing the album art that I added by clicking "get album artwork".  Have to add it again manually, album by album.  I don't have it set to automatically add missing artwork, because what iTunes adds is not always right.
So anyway, I think I'm ok, except for the artwork issue...

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