HELP! How can I stop iMessage hijacking mails which should be going to Gmail?

This is a little tricky for me to explain, because I don't know all the correct terminology, so I will try to write clearly. Please read carefuly, and any help would be greatly appreciated because this is causing me lots of problems! Thanks.
MY PROBLEM
1. I have a Gmail account I use for all my mail (In this explanation I will call this "[email protected])
(I have an Android phone that runs the Gmail app, and I acces Gmail through Safari on my iMac, and through the Mail app on my iPad)
2. A few months ago I bought an iPad. Presently, in my Messages settings, the "Recieve At" option is set to my Gmail address. (I must have set this up at some point, but I don't remember, and I realise my problem was perhaps linking Messages to my Gmail address in the first place)
3. There is a small group of people in my contacts whose messages keep bypassing my Gmail inbox, and going straight to Messages. I have noticed that the return addresses for this group of people is not an email address, but phone numbers, for example "From +012 3456 789". I haven't checked everyone, but I suspect the majority, if not all, of these users are sending messages with their iPhones via Messages, not Mail.
This is where I get a bit lost in the terminology, so please bear with me, messages from email to email (ie "[email protected] to [email protected]") of course go to my Gmail inbox, but mails(?) messages(?) from phone numbers to my Gmail (ie. "+0123 4567 890 to [email protected]") are bypassing my Gmail inbox and ending up in Messages. Even though the peple sending them are sending them to the address "[email protected]".
4. As I don't carry my iPad everywhere, I keep missing their messages! I've missed some really important messages because everything is being routed to Messages and is bypassing my Gmail inbox! It's so frustrating!
WHAT I TRIED SO FAR AND DIDN'T WORK
I assumed I could just switch Messages off in the settings menu, and that would solve the problem. So I tested with one of my friends who is in that particular group of contacts. I switched off Messages, he sent me a message, the message got lost in the ether, it didn't go to my Gmail inbox. (It also didn't come to Messages when I switched Messages back on). When he sent the message, he tried to send to [email protected], and it automatically loaded the Messages app, not the Mail app on his iPhone.
So, I went to the Messages settings, and went to "Recieve At [email protected]" >  "You can be reached for messages at: Email [email protected]" > And on the next menu, the option for "Remove This Email" is unclickable. (I assume it's because at least one mail address must be synced?)
CAN ANYONE HELP ME?
So, what I need to do is disconnect my Gmail address from Messages, but make sure the messages from people who mail me from phone numbers +012 345 678 etc  go to my Gmail address and don't get lost in the ether?

Thank you for these replies. They both help, understand what might be happening.
I turned off all the rules in Mail and still get duplicates.
I also asked gmail to delete all messages once forwarded.
Still getting some duplicates. I wonder if it's because I have two gmail accounts (one business and another personal) My Apple id is also associated to one of these gmail accounts.
Seems to me that it's going to be a couple of hours work, but the best thing would be to scrap the gmail and hotmail accounts entirely, and move everything to my @me account? Perhaps I should check out how the alias system works to keep the appearance of seperate accounts?
The issue then would be forwarding mails to my works issue Android phone..

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