Help me sync all my iPhone's tabs with Mac - beginning to despair!

Hi,
iPhone 4S 16GB, White, iOS 6.0.1; Mac Pro 2010, Mountain Lion 10.8.2 Supplemental Update 1.0; iTunes 10.7 (I am NOT upgrading to iTunes 11).
I can't get all the aspects of my iPhone to sync with my Mac Pro without receiving the dreaded, "Do you want to erase this iPhone…" dialogue.  At the moment, the iPhone currently syncs Apps, Podcasts, iTunes U and Photos with the Mac Pro in question.  I'm trying to get it to also sync Tones, Music, Films, TV Programmes and Books.
This is such a convoluted process that I'm not sure where precisely to begin.  I'll start with my last Restore From Backup, which was for the purposes of restoring this replacement iPhone with the contents of the pre-replacement's backup.
1) Attached iPhone to my Mac Pro via USB
2) Right-clicked iPhone in iTunes Sidebar, chose "Restore from Backup…" and selected the previous iPhone's last backup
3) After the Restore was complete, I immediately went to the Apps tab and checked, "Sync Tabs".  This is crucial in order to restore the third-party apps that were on the phone when it was Backed Up so that they will be associated with their data.
4) During this process, I also checked all the rest of the tabs, but only Podcasts, iTunes U and Photos synced successfully.  All the others (Tones, Music, Films, TV Programmes and Books) came up with an error message. Which one, I'm not sure, but probably the one that declares these tabs to be synced with another computer, and asks,  "Do you want to erase this iPhone…".  I'm confident it was, actually, because I recall thinking how daft it was that, right after a Restore from Backup, it was telling me that the iPhone was synced with another Mac.  Madness…
After steps (1) through (4), my phone was back to its pre-replacement state (more or less, but let's not go there).  Because there was still media I required to add to the phone, I unplugged the iPhone from the Mac Pro, and attached it to the Mac mini.  When I attempted—purely as a troubleshooting measure—to sync the Tones, Music, Films, TV Programmes and Books from the Mac mini, I received the following messages after ticking each checkbox, respectively:
With each dialogue box I clicked Cancel, because there was no content available to sync anyway.
So, neither of the two Macs that I own will sync Tones, Music, Films, TV Programmes or Books with this iPhone without erasing existing content.  Why?  Having seen this, I went back to my Mac Pro with the iPhone, and attempted to sync Tones again.  It asked:
That gave me hope, because it wasn't claiming to be about to delete "all existing songs, films and TV programmes" as it did on the Mac mini: just Tones.  So, I hit "Apply".  The result?
Not only that, but the Capacity guage at the bottom of the window indicated that I was about to lose 1.74GB of Audio data, despite the fact that the only tone on the iPhone amounted to less than 1MB in size.
Apple has created the most sadistic syncing system I've ever encountered, and the one most eager to delete a user's data.
Can someone please tell me how to make my iPhone sync the remaining unsynced tabs with the Mac Pro?  This is the Mac that contains all my media, so the Mac mini is pointless even if it did work. 
Caveats:
• Please, only offer genuinely tested solutions and not conjecture. 
• Please, don't request I make any arbitrary changes that may lead to data loss, at least without good reasoning.
• Please, don't ask me to get in touch with iTunes Technical Support—down that avenue lies more incompetence than I can bear.
• AppleCare Telephone Support for my iPhone has expired, so please don't suggest I get in touch with them either.
Thanks

1) Please read all of OP's original post before replying.
I can see this thread going south fast…

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