HELP: My ARD 3.1 cannot control iBook on Airport Express network

I use my ARD 3.1 on my Intel iMac OS 10.4.8 fine to control machines in my network and several out of network that are NOT using a router.
My sister's iBook, Mac OS 10.4.8 is giving me headaches as I cannot connect to it via ARD. She has everything in the top section checked in System Preferences>Sharing>Apple Remote Desktop>Access Priviledges and her firewall in Sharing is turned off with Apple Remote Desktop checked. She does not have VNC checked.
We have accessed her Airport Express via the Airport Admin Utility and in Port Mapping, we individually added 3283, 5900, 5988 under both public and private port and hit update and restarted the iBook. Note that she is the ONLY machine on her network that is password protected, so the end of her Private Address showed 201.
Then in ARD, I went to Scanner, pulled down to Network Address and typed in her external IP (69.xxx.xxx.xxx) which we easily obtained via the widget iStat. I know her admin user name and password for the iBook and entered it.
However, when I try to connect, I get an error message "Connection failed to cpe-69-xxx-xxx.xxx.nyc.res.rr.com"
Something so little has got to be off. Help! I've done so much reading on this, but I'm stuck.
Thanks so much!

You kinda lost me. Her private address is static since she is the only one on her network, right?
I have no idea what bridging is.
24-inch iMac, 2.16 GHz Intel Core 2 Duo, 2GB RAM   Mac OS X (10.4.8)   I work at www.mactown.us. Check us out!

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