Help, nothing is working -_-

Okay, I may not be an expert on Java or a wizard who knows everything on computers and whatnot but uninstalling Java should be simple as pie, right? I've tried to uninstall Java7 update 1 for the past hour or so and I've used multiple uninstalling and registry fixing programs to get rid of what was left of 7 update 1. Nothing has worked at all. Even after using the Control Panel (given that it's what comes with Windows 7 it should work, right? wrong.) the program says that Update1 is still there. When I choose to uninstall it, it asks me if I want to make changes to my pc which I always choose yes, so that's out of the way. Then the progress bar pops up. "Gathering required information" or something of the like is up above the progress bar, when it's almost full the window closes out for half of a second then pops back up with the same progress then all the progress falls back to its original position then the uninstaller closes out as if it was never opened.
*Java7 update 1 has become self aware and does NOT want to be removed from my pc.*
Specs of my PC:
Windows7 Home Premium 64-Bit SP1
AMD A8-3800 APU with Radeon HD Graphics
8.0 Gigs of RAM
Nvidia GeForce GTX 560 Ti
Note: I am not a developer of any type, I am only a 15 year-old bent on Minecraft and having fun with my friends.
Edited by: 945659 on Jul 10, 2012 10:09 PM

Have you tried this:
http://support.microsoft.com/mats/Program_Install_and_Uninstall
Because the primary source of your misery is still Microsoft's wonderfully robust installation software, not Java. The fact that Oracle sucks at creating installers should not be the reason why your computer gets messed up when something goes wrong.

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