Help! Same contact list, different phones

We have 3 phones. Myself, my husband and my daughters. We just recently went from me and my husband having Iphone 4's to iphone 5s. When we had the 4's we shared contacts and the calendar. We run a business and it just made sense to have it accessible whether we were on the phone, mac or ipad. Then when we upgraded, we gave our daughter my old iphone 4. Immediately all **** broke loose. We now have some, but not all of our contacts. We also have some of our daughter's contacts. For example, I had my husband saved as ICE with some info in the contact itself, like DOB. This contact is GONE. On both of our phones, in the recent calls the contacts are saved like my daughter's contact list so it says "DAD" not ICE.
I want to know how to make it so that either my daughter has her own contacts and my husband and I share (preferred)
or
One master contact list, but as we had it before we added her phone.
Any help would be great!

What's probably going on is that you are sharing the same iCloud account on all 3 phones, syncing Contacts with iCloud.  When you do this, the contacts on all three are merged, and the merged list appears on all three phones (and any other devices sharing the same iCloud account).  Then your daughter probably saw some of your husband's contacts on her phone and started deleting them.  When you share an iCloud account, any contact added or deleted is added or deleted from all devices sharing the account.
To straighten this out, your daughter needs her own iCloud account with a separate Apple ID.  (Note: she can still share the same ID for purchasing from the iTunes and App stores without creating any problems.  The ID used for purchasing does not need to be the same as the ID used for other services such as iCloud.)  To do this, on her phone go to Settings>iCloud and turn all data that is syncing with iCloud (contacts, calendars, etc.) to Off.  When prompted choose to keep the data on the iPhone.  After everything is turned off, scroll to the bottom and tap Delete Account.  (This will only delete the account from this phone, not from iCloud.  The other devices still sharing the account will not be effected by this.)  Next, set up a new iCloud account on her phone using a different Apple ID and turn iCloud data syncing for contacts, etc. back to On.  When prompted, choose Merge.  This will upload the data to this new account.
To untangle the merged data you will then have to go to icloud.com on your computer and sign into each iCloud account separately and manually delete the unwanted data (such as deleting your contacts from your daughter's new account, and vice versa).  These changes will be reflected on each device syncing with the account being changed.
Another thing to watch out for is that you should also be using a separate Apple ID for iMessage and FaceTime.  If you don't you'll end up getting each other's text messages and FaceTime calls on your devices.  To change the ID for iMessage, go to Settings>Messages>Send & Receive (Receive At in iOS 5), tap the ID listed, sign out, then sign back in using a separate ID.  For FaceTime, do the same thing in Settings>FaceTime.

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