Help transferring contacts from iPhone4 5.01 to Mac without duplicating contacts on either or both lists

When I connect my iPhone running 5.01 to my mac vie iTunes, and transfer contacts, it always duplicates the contacts when synching.
So if I have a single John Doe entry on both my iPhone and Mac, I now get two.
Sometimes it will make 3 or 4 copies.
I want to:
copy my contact list from my iPhone TO my Mac, and update existing entries on my mac, and add new ones that are on my iPhone and not on the Mac, and
transfer contacts from Mac to iPhone that are new to the iPhone
Basically, I have to separate contact lists that I dont want to mix or mesh entirely, and I also want to stop them from duplicating.
The User Manual does not address keeping them from duplicating.
Thanks in advance

Well, there appears to be NO way to get it to stop doing what its doing.
I have one contact list on my iPhone.
I have a different list on my MacBook pro.
When I connect to update items on my phone via iTunes, I back up the iPhone.
I did my update, and then restored from the backup. That brought back in my iPhone contact list.
However, when I go to put my apps and music, books, etc back on my phone from iTunes on my Mac, I either have to bring my contact list off my mac over and it adds entries to the iphone contact list, or I choose not to sync contacts, and it erases them altogether.
If someone has a suggestion how I can keep my original iPhone contact list on my iphone, without having itunes either wipe it or add unwanted entries from my macbook pro, I'd appreciate it!

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Help transferring contacts from iPhone4 5.01 to Mac without duplicating contacts on either or both lists

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