Help with imap gmail account via mac mail

What are the best settings for gmail as imap in mac mail?
I have my gmail account set up with mac Mail as an IMAP account.
I notice that in the last few weeks?? not sure how long, my mac mail is taking forever to load.  I opened the activity window and it seems like there are so many things happening.  I did find an old account that was still had some activity and while I had delteed it, I did need to do a few more steps to get it out of the process.
Now, as it still seems to take forever for my inbox to fully load, I began looking into the settings. 
I am not able to change the settings for trash and I think saving the deleted messages to the server could be a waste of time.  This is the advanced setttings page
the trash is 'grayed out' and won't allow me to uncheck the 'store deleted messages on the server'.  Anyone know how to change this?
Also, I want to uncheck 'store sent messages on the server' as I think that will save a LOT of process activity, but gmail's directions for imap accounts says to leave it checked.  Not sure why, any thoughts?
Michelle

I'm not familiar with CalbeOne, but you can follow the instructions they provided at their site:
http://help.cableone.net/HSD/mycableone/migrate/default.aspx
You might also want to make sure you followed their transfer instructions.
Build your accounts in Mail as per the POP or IMAP settings provided. When adding accounts to Mail, when you get to the first screen, you can hold the option key down when you hit continue for more options on the Mail configurations rather than the standard defaults.
If you are viewing these accounts at the gmail website, then you might need to do some configuration there also. I'm not sure on how much they are integrated with gmail.

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