Home sharing problems ATV2, Itunes 10.6.3.25

This is the situation
Apple TV shows up GRAYED OUT in Airplay speakers list
ATV2 does not show up as an option in iOS remote (iPhone 4)
Home Sharing IS enabled both in iTunes and Apple TV
network appears to be fine-- can get all other content availble through ATV2, including music via Match

Same thing here except I'm not running server software on the Mac Mini. The Apple support person said that iTunes is the same, server or not. He recommeded setting sleep to never, but I get the same connection problems. I also automatically restart the Mini and relaunch iTunes on startup every morning at 6 AM. And, as with your experience, the only temporary solution is to quit and restart iTunes at the time that I want to connect. Apple TV, iPhone, and iPad all have the same connection problem. My only hope at this point is 10.8. I have to say, 10.7 has never behaved better than a beta release. I hope they took a little more time with Mountain Lion.
Sorry I don't have a solution. I wanted to add my name to the list and hope someone out there has some insight to share.

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    Message was edited by: crcjetty

    I had the exact same problem between my two Windows 7 computers when I updated them to iTunes 10.1 - the shared library would show up on the side in iTunes, but when I attempted to open it, it would say it was loading for a while and then disappear.
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