Home Sharing setup for 2 pc, 2 iPhone & an iPad

Hello everyone!
I am really hoping someone can help me. My mom and I just got iPhone 5s and I would like to be able to share my iTunes music with her, but I am not sure how to set this up. I have reviewed many posts here, but they are all different depending on the devices and what each person would like to do. So I am adding my questions to the mix so that maybe someone has a similiar setup and can offer step-by-step instructions to make it work. We have 2 pcs on Windows XP, 2 iPhone 5s and I have an iPad. Does iTunes Home Sharing work on XP without using iCloud? Can sharing my iTunes music happen without sharing our contacts, calendar and email? Please let me know if this is not possible and I am wasting my time. This message is my last attempt to make this work. I have spent much time trying to make this work.
Thank you for your time and energy!

Okay, so here's what I've found so far:
So I've done a number of tests on both my Apple TV's - the bedroom unit worked fine - it wirelessly connected to a cheap wifi-N AP (netgear $20 refurb from Microcenter) and it was upgraded by plugging directly into my Mac using a USB cable.
My living room unit, experiencing this issue, was plugged into an ethernet port and was upgraded through the IOS update feature. Any movie played through Home Sharing would fail after 2-3 minutes. In some cases, like with ******* 3D, I couldn't even finish watching the titles of the film before losing the connection.
This was happening on all my Home Sharing setups - both on the PC and the Mac that have libraries their share - both before and after upgrading to the latest iTunes on both.
I tried resetting the living room unit by plugging it into the iTunes and doing a factory restore. Once it was done, I put it back online - and connected it to the same WiFi as the bedroom unit. All tests passed. Was easily able to play things that couldn't stream before the latest update.
Once I plugged in the ethernet cable, it shut down the WiFi link and then started exhibiting the connection drop once again.
I then unplugged ethernet, re-connected to that AP and have been working since. Nothing in the packet capture I have shows what happens to the connection - I see lots of DAAP protocol going back and forth - then out of nowhere, the Apple TV starts pouring out a pile of RST packets and that's when the connection drops. In order to look at this more closely, I'd have to put a sniffer on the LAN and run this through a network switch that has packet capture abilities - not something I possess at the moment.
For now I'd advise that folks run wireless or wireless through a third gateway if you can.
Cheers!

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Connection attempt to iPhone activation server was successful.
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My setup has been working for ages, but ever since I upgraded my living room Apple TV to 5.1, it looses it's connection to home sharing after 2 minutes.
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This is happening with newly ripped as well as older ripped movies that I've purchased and converted using local tools, all stored locally on my Mac.
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Okay, so here's what I've found so far:
So I've done a number of tests on both my Apple TV's - the bedroom unit worked fine - it wirelessly connected to a cheap wifi-N AP (netgear $20 refurb from Microcenter) and it was upgraded by plugging directly into my Mac using a USB cable.
My living room unit, experiencing this issue, was plugged into an ethernet port and was upgraded through the IOS update feature. Any movie played through Home Sharing would fail after 2-3 minutes. In some cases, like with ******* 3D, I couldn't even finish watching the titles of the film before losing the connection.
This was happening on all my Home Sharing setups - both on the PC and the Mac that have libraries their share - both before and after upgrading to the latest iTunes on both.
I tried resetting the living room unit by plugging it into the iTunes and doing a factory restore. Once it was done, I put it back online - and connected it to the same WiFi as the bedroom unit. All tests passed. Was easily able to play things that couldn't stream before the latest update.
Once I plugged in the ethernet cable, it shut down the WiFi link and then started exhibiting the connection drop once again.
I then unplugged ethernet, re-connected to that AP and have been working since. Nothing in the packet capture I have shows what happens to the connection - I see lots of DAAP protocol going back and forth - then out of nowhere, the Apple TV starts pouring out a pile of RST packets and that's when the connection drops. In order to look at this more closely, I'd have to put a sniffer on the LAN and run this through a network switch that has packet capture abilities - not something I possess at the moment.
For now I'd advise that folks run wireless or wireless through a third gateway if you can.
Cheers!

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