Homeshare to Ipad and Iphone is very slow to load library

First time poster, long time listener... I'm totally pro mac, from which I made the switch about 2 years ago from android and windows to everything mac and iPad/ iphone etc... One problem that I have been having is when on any of my IOS devices (2 iPhones, 1 iPad 2, and 1 iPad mini) I can't seem to load my videos or music (in apple's music or video app) when "shared" from my Mac Pro. So when am in my Video app, then Shared to my Mac Pro (Pro) I can see my library just fine, but when I click on it I get a spinning wheel - spinning and spinning and spinning, well it goes on for ever and sometimes, very rarely, it will load after 10 to 15 minutes. Long story short, mac pro wired to link sys wireless router (acting as just a hub / wireless extended network) then wired to my apple extreme 3tb router. All have been set to default router is 10.0.1.1 (apple extreme router).....
The strangest thing, is remote app and airplay from and IOS device works to every apple tv I have (4 - bedroom, tv room, billiard room, and bar room apple tvs). Apple tv all see the mac pro, and the mac pro's all see the apple tv inside iTunes. (airplay works out standing!)
When I use any IOS device (any) and homeshare to my mac book pro, which doesn't have any videos or music, it loads right away but there is nothing to load.
p.s. my mac pro library of iTunes has over 20000 songs and over 100 home video and over 100 videos from a ripped dvd collections....
Need help please asap... Almost ready to give up but i have faith.....
So how and why doesn't my videos or music load properly through homeshareing on any iOS device but everything else works flawlessly.....

size of lib would mean a great deal and network speed and signal quality

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