How can email sync between iphone4 and mac?

I want to read email once on either my iPhone4 or Mac, then delete the email from BOTH DEVICES. I don't want to read the same email on my iPhone4 and my Mac.
Do I need to manage this with my internet service provider (in thsi case Cox), or are there setting in iPhone 4 to take care of this duplicate email phenomenon?
Thanks.

it will only remove deleted mails when you sync it with the computer
and only one accounts that are set as sync accounts so not when you set them up on the iphone itself
in which case it's a standalone account not a sync one
synced accounts are created in the info tab on the iphone when connected to itunes
otherwise you have to make sure that your email account is pop3 rather then imap and that it's set to delete
mails from server when downloaded that should work
but it needs to be set on both the iphone and the computer

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