How can I can learn how to hack the planet?

I want to be zero cool. I need a Jedi master to take me to the red hat Linux side so I can combine my immense love for the written word compounded with interπest%.
How can I learn the skills necessary to steal WiFi from my neighbor whilst I repair my condominium?
How will most efficaciously affect my hacking ability like a trebuchet?

Hi, Its not related to any of the Mozilla Products.
Please try in some public forums.

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    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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