How can I find if someone is using my computer remote

how can I find if someone is using my computer remote

Do you mean "using your computer remotely," as in accessing it from another location?  That's extremely unlikely, as it's no trivial task to set up sharing over the internet, and would require physical access to your computer to get that done.  What symptoms are you seeing that lead you to believe this is happening?
Alternately, if you mean literally "using your computer remote," if someone is fiddling with an Apple Remote in the same room, you would probably see iTunes opening, music starting to play, volume changing, etc.  My 2-year-old got hold of my remote once and caused me no end of frustration trying to figure out what the *%&*#(& was going on! 

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