How can I have control of my photos?

Question

Ok, please someone tell me this.
I've been fighting this iPhoto battle for years. My problem is that I want to manage my own photos on my external drive where I am backing them up on time machine. I don't want them tangled inside iPhoto's individual users Libraries. Because of this, I uncheck the option that asks if I want them copied to the Library when importing. I understand this means I am using a 'referenced library'.
Why won't iPhoto allow me to delete these referenced files? Why? I know it could do it, but it seems that they have designed it so that it won't. I can see that people might complain that iPhoto is removing their outside files... yes. But make it a hidden option. With red flags and waving hands. Make it a special key stroke. Something, anything please! I want control of my photos.
To top it off, when I import photos with my camera, I would love to use iPhoto because it is concise and straightforward. The problem is that it (again) wants to bury the camera imported photos into the users' iPhoto Libraries. Why no option to import the files from the camera to a specified location (i.e. my external hard disk library of photos)? Why? I know it could, but it won't.
I have lost photos this way. My wife uses iPhoto to import photos and they go into her iPhoto library. When I think that all my photos are safe in the photos directory on my external hard disk (where they belong) I am hurt to find out that there were some lost files hidden in one or more of the users Libraries. Oh the horror!
So in the end, if I want to use iPhoto, I have to import the photos with a different application that will put them in the folder I want. This drives my wife crazy. "Why can't we use iPhoto to import them?" She asks. I say that apple wont let us do it.
She asks "Why can't I delete these duplicate photos, and the ones I don't like? They keep coming back each time we import." Again, I say, Apple won't let us do it. We have to use the finder and look through them one by one, painful and slow as it is.
If there are no solutions to these problems, I am soon to be jumping off the iPhoto bandwagon (Picasa?) and losing a little faith in the Tao of Apple.
Cheers.

Answer 1

First, thanks for your responses. Sorry if I sounded snarky. Guess that is what happens when you bang your head against a wall
Terence Devlin wrote:
When you decide to run a Referenced Library you are saying to iPhoto, "Don't touch those files, I'll manage them". So, iPhoto won't touch them on the way in and won't touch them on the way out. Consistency. After all you "want control of my photos". Don't you?
Yes. This is the struggle I suppose. I want to use iPhoto as an interface to my photo library. I want it to give me the control to do whatever I want with my photos. Delete them, modify them, resize them, etc. And yes of course, view them.
Terence Devlin wrote:
Is there a reason why you insist on running referenced Libraries? You've heard of sharing, right?
Yes. We actually have soft links setup to use a single shared iPhoto Library. This works well so that any changes/albums I make are immediately available to the other user accounts on our Mac. The problem is that we like to keep our photos in specific directories that are organized on our external drive. When we copy them to the iPhoto Library all the work we do on them (modifying etc) does not affect the 'actual' original files. It only affects the iPhoto copy. Again, this goes back to the fact that we want iPhoto to be an interface to our photos.
LarryHN wrote:
One of (the many) things you fail to comprehend is that iPhoto is a relational database and all relational databases must totally control their data - you can not manage the address book database - or an oracle database - or filemaker - etc etc etc - relational databases must be carefully structured and controlled - iPhoto is no different
I imagine that in this relational database there is a pointer to the location of the original file. Or is the entire file stored in the database? If the file is stored in the database, I can understand this would be a bit more difficult to implement (deleting referenced files, that is). However if only a pointer to the file location is stored, it seems it would be easy to allow the program to delete the referenced file. Plus, it should be faster if the database only stores the link, right? Storing the entire file in my experience can slow the performance. If it stores the link, deleting the file referenced by the link should have no adverse effects on the integrity of the relational database contents.
LarryHN wrote:
You either need to use iPhoto the way it works or find another program that works like you want - Ranting to other users about your own personal preferences that do not match most others is futile and a total waste of your time and ours
Yes, they are my own personal preferences as a user. They are functionality I would love to see in the iPhoto product, and I was hoping there was a slim chance that they do exist and that I was just overlooking them. You have made it clear that the product I am looking for to provide an interface to my photo library is apparently not iPhoto. That is too bad. All it would take to please me as a user is for two simple functions:
- Ability to delete referenced files.
- Ability to import from the camera to a specified location.
Also, I am sure that my needs do match the needs of others. I am not alone with these issues. I have come across similar issues before in my search for these answers. Perhaps others will chime in on this thread.
I will check out Aperture.
Yes, my question has been answered. The answer still remains - "Apple won't let us do it". I'm really hoping there is a big 'yet' at the end of this.