How can I keep iTunes from changing my iphone settings, etc.?

After a HD failure, I had to do a complete reinstall of Snow Leopard. I had my content backed up on an external HD and now want to sync things up again with my iphone.
Problem is that I have things set up on the iphone, such as the placement of my apps, and when I connect to itunes, it wants to scrap everything and sync with the "new" itunes library.
Is there a way to tell itunes to sync with my iphone using the iphone config instead of the itunes config? I really don't want to go and reset everything up on the iphone, but want to get synced up again.
Thanks

To prevent your iPhone from automatically syncing when you plug it in, click on iTunes in the menu bar, then preferences, then "devices", then tick "prevent iPhones, iPad's and iPod's from syncing automatically".
Plug it in, then on the iPhone sync summary screen, click "info" along the top.
Make sure the "sync contacts" option is not ticked. as long as it's not ticked, then it won't sync with your mac's contacts but will still include them in backups.
Also, if you use iCloud, make sure that the iPhone/mac are either not signed into the same account, or that "contacts" is not turned on for both of them

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