How can I make IMAP message flags (replied, forwarded) update regularly ?

Several Macs are connecting to the same (Citadel) IMAP-server here. The problem is that if someone replies to an existing message the "replied to" flag (little arrow in the message list) is only showing up on the other machines if I restart mail.app on them.
Even manual synchronization via the Mailbox/Synchronize.. does not update the flags. The same applies to the other flags (forwarded, read).
How can I configure mail.app to automatically synchronize these flags ?

I will clarify. I would like to select emails that are either:
Replies to recently sent mail. This isn't perfect, since some messages are not important, so I don't need to know right away that there's a reply.
or
Replies to specific messages that I would mark as important within Mail.app, somehow. I don't specifically want to mark the messages with an !important flag, since that would impose on the recipient, and there's no way to guarantee that they will reply with the !important flag intact.
I suppose that I might use Contacts groups and add the "currently important" people to a specific group, then select the messages from people in that group, but that is not exactly optimal, since I'd have to maintain that group manually.

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