How can I see my jabber buddy list as a default and not a new message window on my message app??

I recently got my OS reinstalled and since then I had a multitude of issues.
1) my texts kept showing up on my macbook pro so I took my cell number off the preferences on messages on macbook.  Can I still have people facetime me using my cell phone number?
2) I do see my jabber buddy list when I click on the message center as a default.  I keep getting the new message window, can i set a default that when i click on it I see who is online vs. having to go to windows and select buddy list all the time??
3) what is bonjour and why would i want to use it?

Hi,
Re 1)
The settings for Messages > iMessages are separate from the FaceTime ones on both Mac and iOS devices.
Re 2)
If you have a Jabber (Google or Facebook Chats included) ID in Messages > Preferences > Accounts you can go to the Window Menu and display them.
By default they are a combined list (Any AIM, Jabber, Yahoo or Bonjour account that is logged in)
In the Preference > General section you can untick the item that gathers them into one list to show them separately.
They also appear in the Window Menu separately with their open CMD + # keystrokes.
Once you have them On show quit the app that way.
It will "Remember" that they were on Show the next time you open the app.
Re 3)
Bonjour is a process on the Mac that "sees" all other Macs on your LAN and shows them in the Side bar of the Finder window as "automatic" Shares.
In iChat and Messages it is an included account that cannot be deleted
If Enabled it can have it's own Buddy List (see 2) )
It shows the Names of the peopel singed in on the other Macs on your LAN that are also using iChat or Messages with the Bonjour Account Enabled.
The name is taken from the My Card in the Address Book or Contacts app.
The My Card should have the Mac User's details (you on Your computer when Logged in) and a head and Shoulders icon.
I have three computers
One is running iChat 4.x.x and on that machine (running Leopard) the My Card calls me Ralph G4 as it is running on G4 tower.
My Laptop has me as Ralph MacBook Pro
This iMac I am posting from has the My Card of Ralph Johns
On this computer if I have iChat running on the other I see Ralph G4 and Ralph MacBook Pro as "Buddies"
It can do everything that the AIM and Jabber logins can do.
Text Chat, Audio Only Chat, Video Chat, Screen Sharing, File Transfers etc.
10:21 pm      Saturday; February 15, 2014
  iMac 2.5Ghz 5i 2011 (Mavericks 10.9)
 G4/1GhzDual MDD (Leopard 10.5.8)
 MacBookPro 2Gb (Snow Leopard 10.6.8)
 Mac OS X (10.6.8),
 Couple of iPhones and an iPad

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