How can I sync email, contacts and calendar between computers and phones without a mobileme account?

I recently added a macbook pro, ipad and imac to my work accounts and I'd like to be able to sync all of them together.  I believe the POP server that my company is using (small start-up) does not support this.  Basically, if I read email on the laptop, it does not show as read on the imac or my iphone.  If I send a message from one, it does not show up on the other devices.
I figure there has to be a solution - it's driving me crazy basically having email in 3 different locations and none of it matches.
Any suggestions or help would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks.

I have found that syncing my contacts then un-syncing them results in my current contacts retaining all the info and picture from Facebook.  I just don't have the Facebook updates, which I'm happier about anyway.

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