How can I turn off apps that automatically sync?

Whenever I try to move music from itunes to my ipad mini it says it is over memory.  I can see the music on the ipad but it is grey and will not play.  I have tried to delete apps (which are taking up most of my memory) I do not want but it keeps putting them back on.  I have turned off the 'sync automatically' button on the preferences and devices in itunes.  I have unclicked the 'will install' on the apps section on itunes.  I have synced repeatidly and whenever I click the sync button the things I have just clicked on suddenly become 'will install' again. 
I only want to move some music across from itunes but it won't even let me do that. 
PLEASE HELP I AM GOING CRAZY!!

Yes i did that, but when i went back to my home screen all the applications that i've choose to not using data just automatically activate themselves.... ><

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