How can I update my ipod if my itunes won't recognize it?

hi,
I just bought a 1gb ipod nano (online) and I've installed the software my housemate used for ipod nano. when I plug my ipod into my computer, the do not disconnect appears, which I knew would. however, my computer will not recognize the ipod nor will itunes. when I run diagnositics on it using itunes, the connection is "failed" and when I try the ipod updater, it says the program is too old and I should update using itunes.
my itunes will not recognize my ipod. I've tried the Rs, I reinstalled, I tried disk mode...nothing has worked so far. Any suggestions?
ipod nano   Windows XP  

I have the same issue, and I've tried every imaginable solution suggested, including everything on the link above. Ipod is not being recognized in My Computer or in iTunes.
Other USB devices work fine. Tomorrow I'm bringing my iPod to work to see if it connects to my PC there. I'm convinced this is a software issue.
I hesitate to ask for a suggestion, as I've tried virtually everything. Just thought I'd keep this thread alive.

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