How can you tell if someone is secretly monitoring your computer?

Hi, I get the feeling someone is monitoting my computer remotely. It acts strange at times and constantly gets hot and information seems to be changed ot moved around when I sign back on. Also, when I look at system logs and such it's always saying weird things like stelth connection attempted and there are some things I can look up with my friends computer, that will not show up on mine and I mean things on the internet like Google and such.  I'm 45 yrs old so I know that no parental blocks are on it.. But I feel like someone else or possibly my own (other half) maybe watching what I am doing online. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks.
KK

They probably are.
In reality of course, there is no such thing as total internet privacy: US and British intelligence agencies have successfully cracked much of the online encryption relied upon by hundreds of millions of people to protect the privacy of their personal data, online transactions and emails: 
http://www.theguardian.com/world/2013/sep/05/nsa-gchq-encryption-codes-security

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