How do I add content to my iphone using itunes?

I have watched the tutorial, and I know that once my iphone is plugged in, it shows up in itunes, I should be able to click on that, and then choose "add to" and simply drag and drop items onto my iphone.  However, the "add to" button just will not show up.  I cannot seem to figure out why.
I thought maybe it had to do with selecting "manually manage music and videos" in the summary info of my iphone in itunes, so I selected that, but when I try and apply that a warning screen comes up saying that my iphone is synced with another itunes library on another computer (it is/was... I have another computer that used to be my primary computer) and it asks me if I want to erase this iphone and sync with this itunes libary... which I don't!! I don't want to erase what is already on my iphone, I just want to be able to add content to it?  Why is itunes so bloody difficult all the time?  Anyway, with this warning screen, I only have the option to either erase and sync, or cancel the change in my settings. 
Anyway, help!
Am I missing something?
Thanks

Don't hesitate to spend some time with the Manual
http://help.apple.com/imovie/mac/10.0/#
which will teach you the basic steps, as the elaborated ones …

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