How do I back up contacts in my phone

Hi,
Everytime I try to back up contacts from my iphone or ipad it asks me if I want to merge with 142 other contacts and modify several others that are not actually in my current contact list. I removed all the contacts from the windows file and manually typed all the contacts from my yahoo mail so they match. But now I still can't get the 2 updated so they match and everytime I sync the phone or ipad it still wants to add a ton of others that are not needed. I wouldn't care so much if I didn't want to lose my contacts...again but I would like it to modify new contacts and keep a back up of what is actually on my phone and yahoo mail.
Anyone know how to do this?
Help..
Thanks so much!

I use a PC for itunes - I don't have a Mac. But the application I think is Windows and the contacts are maintained in that file when backed up on the hard-drive. But I removed all of those and placed them in another folder someplace else - as back up (so I don't lose them again) so that folder is empty but it still wants to place all contacts available in on all of our devices. I used the cloud for my contacts and now it has groups split out will all and then just mine. I can't get away from the merged files. I just want my own set and his set. I update and change my contacts but if I ever need to retore it I won't be able to because I can never back it up on the computer, it will revise and modify then combine all of our contacts.
I had to re-do our contact lists manually about 6 times now, in all devices too. I just edit and replace/delete so we each have our own but I wish it could update changes made in my phone only. If I don't remember to edit my Gmail or Yahoo contacts those will never be updated with the phone either.
Any help would be appreciated! Thank you so much!

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How do I back up contacts in my phone

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