How do I choose which devices sync?

My sister, mum and I have iPhones and my niece, nephew and I have iPads. The notes I place in my iPhone automatically appear on all the iPads and anything put in the iPads appears on my iPhone. However, these notes do not appear on all iPhones, as they do not appear on my mum's iPhone or my sister's iPhone, and anything in my mum's and sister's iPhone does not appear on either the other iPhones or the iPads. This not only gives others access to my notes but I have also discovered that if my notes are deleted on one device they are deleted on all devices, incl the iPhone.
How do I determine which devices my notes sync to as although I would like to access my nieces notes I do no want her to access mine, nor have the option to delete them.

Welcome to the Apple Community.
I assume you are sharing a single OSX user account and each have an individual iCloud account.
You can share different groups but it will mean that only one of you can sync photostream photos with the mac.
The way to do this is to have one of you as the primary iCloud user (with photostream) and have the remaining three users accounts added as secondary accounts in system preferences > mail, contacts and calendars.

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